In the Land of Gods and Starships
by ravenoir
Summary: New arrivals aboard the USS Enterprise bring new drama and challenges to the crew, who must adjust to the turbulent lifestyles they have been suddenly thrust into. Riker must confront a woman from his past, who enchants the crew with her hypnotic voice. However, her dark past and mysterious lover come back to haunt her in full force, leaving the Enterprise shocked.
1. Deadly Nightshade

The calming hum of the Enterprise's engines were ever present and calming to the patrons of Ten Forward. It was enough at times to put one in a trance. Deanna Troi was in one of these trances, but gave a startled jump as a hand brushed against her.

"Will, is that you?" she said, annoyed that her attention had been diverted from the bowl of chocolate ice cream she had been nursing for the past hour. What could possibly be more important than her fudge sundae?

Will Riker gave a hearty laugh as he pulled up a chair next to her.

"Aren't you going to join us in the transporter room? It is almost time for us to see the new arrivals."

"I thought there were only new civilian passengers coming aboard."

"There's someone there that I want you to meet." Will grinned as he stood up, and before leaving the crowded room, turned back and looked at his former love for her approval. Deanna rolled her eyes and sighed as she signaled for Guinan to take her bowl away.

* * *

The doors to the transporter room swished open as the two officers approach, revealing Chief O'Brien standing ready for the order. Riker gave the command, signaling him to beam aboard the five passengers from the adjacent ship. Deanna perked her head up to concentrate more on the life forms coming in. As the streams of light and energy materialized into living beings, she could already sense their emotions. There was curiosity, fear, uneasiness - all very normal in this situation. Aside from the five strangers, there lay a mountain of luggage, far more than one would expect for the group.

"I'll call for someone to take these to your quarters." The transporter chief assured them as he typed the command into the console.

Standing before them were four men and one woman. The female had long, straight, brown hair, which was as vibrant and full of volume as her lips. They were touched with the crimson red of a terran lipstick. Her eyes reflected a very cautious light. Troi could tell she felt very uneasy, and she clung to the arm of the oldest man in the group. The man had deep lines running up and down his face, obviously a sign of aging. His eyes were obscured by a pair of vaguely antique sunglasses, and his lips appeared to be permanently pursed, as if he were tasting something mildly sour. Riker thought this was perhaps her father, but the way she held onto him reminded him more of a desperate lover, clutching his sleeve like her life depended on it. Both he and Troi thought something was awry here. Riker was the first to initiate greetings between the arrivals.

"Welcome aboard the USS Enterprise. I am first officer William Riker and this is Counselor Deanna Troi. It is a pleasure of mine to oversee your arrival here and someone will be here shortly to escort you to your quarters."

Two of the other men in the group, in their early twenties perhaps, were obviously a couple, their hands interlocked from the second they had transported. The woman, however, was the one Riker wanted to introduce.

"Deanna, I would like you to meet a friend of mine I met on Risa. This is La-"

"The name is Elizabeth Grant." Her voice trembled slightly. "But my friends call me Lana."

Troi gave Will a look of faux-politeness and confusion at this. He merely smiled, and before anything could escalate into something more awkward, the attendants arrived to carry the arrivals luggage. The taller of the two men's eyes widened at the amount of bags they had brought in.

"May I ask which ones are marked for whom...?

The older man Lana had been clinging to spoke at last. "The ones for our room are marked with LDR. The majority of it is stage equipment for the show." The attendant nodded and began his work as the second man escorted the couple to their quarters and O'Brien called for more people to assist in the moving.

After another rather awkward moment the older man introduced himself.

"My name is Mark. I am an artist. That's really all you need to know about me." His voice was rough and grim and Troi could sense that he was hiding something. "I'm far more interested in this fine ship of yours. Would one of you mind taking Lana and I around?"

"Commander Riker has to return to the bridge." Deanna notified them, "But I'll be happy to show you to Ten Forward." She smiled and gestured Riker to leave as the three of them departed.

* * *

In darkly illuminated Ten Forward, Mark was busy examining the room for their stage set up, leaving Lana and Troi alone at the bar, where she was finally reunited with her chocolate. Before she could become to entranced by the dessert, Lana struck up a conversation."

"So, you're the ship's counselor?"

"Yes, I've worked here on the Enterprise for five years now. We're all like family here." She paused as she finished contemplated the space around them and the younger woman's emotional state. This was a great advantage that empaths had when meeting new people. "Will told me that he met you on Risa. Were you working as a singer there?"

"I was - that is where I met Mark." There was a tinge of sadness as she said the man's name. He now looked to Deanna to be about twenty years older than the chanteuse. "I spent seven years trying to make it big. At some point I just accepted the fact that something that good could never happen to me. I became complacent with not succeeding. That was wrong of me, and Mark helped me with that. For him I will be forever grateful to whatever sort of God is out there."

She stared out into the abyss of space through the window, where Mark was silhouetted. Lana signaled for the bartender to come and serve her, and Guinan approached her.

"You're a new face."A

"I'll have a whiskey. If you have something other than synthehol, that is."

"I don't serve my real liquor to strangers." She outstretched her hand.

"My name is Guinan."

"I'm Lana Del Rey."

"See, now we aren't strangers." She grinned as she pulled out a drawer underneath the counter.

"Lana Del Rey? It's a stage name, isn't it?" Inquired Troi.

"Yeah, but sometimes I feel more connected to it than my real name. I've always been an unusual girl. I was called so many things on Risa, but Earth is my home."

"Here you are." Guinan said as she set down her Whisky. "It was nice meeting you."

"Thanks." She replied, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her field of vision.

* * *

It was that time of night usually reserved for broken hearts and those desperately trying to get drunk off of synthehol specifically designed to do nothing of the sort. But tonight, Lana and Guinan were the last two left in Ten Forward. The singer had been hesitant to go and join Mark in their quarters, opting to enjoy the atmosphere of the enterprise local with its eldest bartender.

"So, why did you choose this old ship to hitch a ride on?"

"My mother always said I had a chameleon soul. No moral compass pointing due north, nothing to guide me like everyone else. I finally found my freedom in the open road, but even then, that wasn't enough. I looked beyond the earth. I found myself in a godless place - Risa. The land of evil and sin. I sold myself out to so many men, and I eventually found myself in the bed of your first officer. I knew I was one of many, but I didn't mind."

Guinan looked a bit taken aback by Lana's frankness, but not entirely surprised.

"I had been used by so many people, abused even, but he was so kind to me. He didn't promise to take me back with him, like the others. Something about how genuine it all sounded at the time was very attractive. He talked fondly of this ship, so much so that I wanted to come and live that life with him. And now, almost three years later, I finally get to, but this time it's on my terms." Lana finished as she wiped a tear out of the corner of her eye. "Thank you, Guinan."

"That's no problem, Lana. If you ever need anyone to talk to, you can't do much better than me."

"I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow, then. My first show and all..."

"I wish you luck. I'm sure they'll love you."

Lana gave a drunken wave as she departed, leaving the El-Aurian alone in the lounge, bringing a cup of hot tea to her lips, to contemplate the night.

* * *

The lights of the corridors were dimmed, as it was after midnight, but Lana could find her way to her quarters through the help of the computer. The door to the room was unlocked, and she reasoned that Mark would be awake inside, so she was surprised to see that he was in bed, with the lights off. She felt around on the wall for the control panel and turned up the lighting slightly. Mark rolled over, revealing he had been waiting for her.

"I can smell the liquor on your breath all the way over here."

She giggled absentmindedly and collapsed down on the bed.

"I swear to god you make me crazy sometimes."

She rolled over and pulled a cigarette out of her jacket pocket.

"I wouldn't try that if I were you - that damn computer picks up on the smoke and then it goes on and on with some rant about how I'm killing myself. I don't know if I can get used to these Starfleet types."

"Well, we're going to have to, Mark." She yawned, curling up next to him. "It's about time we get to sleep, before you know it, it'll be show time."

"Computer, turn off the lights." A compliant beeping noise followed, and it was done.

However, there still was nothing to be done about the incessant humming of the engines.

* * *

Lana felt a cold wash of water come across her face as the early mornings hours arrived. She was slightly hung-over, and pushed aside a mug of coffee as the washed her delicate facial features in the cold metal basin. After a quick sonic shower, Mark stood in the doorway, staring hypnotically into the mirror as she put on her makeup. He grinned slightly as she mockingly began humming "Video Games".

He wrapped his hands around her as the humming turned into singing.

 _It's you, It's you, It's all for you, everything I do. I tell you all the time_

The pair of them nearly fell on the floor laughing, but Lana composed herself.

"I really do hope they like me out there. I don't want things to be the same as they were before."

"That's not going to happen again, you hear me? I told you many times that I'm not going to let anyone take advantage of you anymore, and that includes anyone on this damn ship."

"M'kay." She muttered, a smile returning to her face.

"You look so beautiful when you smile. You should try doing it on stage more often."

"You must be forgetting how pretty I am when I cry..."

* * *

When Lana strutted into Ten Forward, she donned vintage Chanel, invoking a hazy picture of 1960's Americana. It was a look she did not expect many people here to be familiar with, but she hoped it would be striking and bold enough a statement to engrave her into their memories. A small hush came over the room, several crew members stared intently at her. Lana ignored their gazes and made her way over to the bar. Guinan nodded as her way of acknowledging her being there, and went off to take someone else's order. Moments later the giant wood plated doors opened to reveal Troi and Lt. Barclay walk into the lounge.

"Lana, it's good to see you again." Smiled Troi.

"Hi, Deanna."

"I would like you to meet Reginald Barclay. Reg, this is Lana."

"Um...it's nice to meet you." Mumbled Barclay nervously.

"Yeah. It's my pleasure." She responded coolly. She was obviously now completely enveloped into her persona - the famed gangster Nancy Sinatra she was born to portray. Deanna took note at this and motioned to the lieutenant.

"Maybe we should go take a seat. We look forward to the show." Reginald looked slightly confused and perhaps a little upset about this, not understanding that this had not been another one of his social mishaps, but perhaps something much deeper.

Lana took a deep breath as she walked up to the microphone that was waiting for her on the only slightly elevated stage. She was situated about ten feet away from the nearest audience members. Deanna and Reg sat down in the front row just as Mark came through the grand doors. She began the mic-check nonchalantly. It was almost like none of them were actually there for that brief moment in time. Everyone in attendance who was not engulfed in their work or simply not interested became silenced as she began muttering lyrics before her backing track came in.

 _Elvis is my daddy, Marilyn's my mother,_

 _Jesus is my bestest friend._

 _We don't need nobody 'cause we got each other,_

 _Or at least I pretend._

She broke suddenly, as if at the last moment changing songs, and the sound of her voice humming erupted from the speakers, and she began again with another tune.

 _I've been out on that open road_

 _You can be my full time daddy,_

 _White and gold_

 _Singing blues has been getting old_

 _You can be my full time baby,_

 _Hot or cold_

Her eyes drifted to Mark as her voice cracked slightly, who pretended not to notice this.

 _Don't break me down_

 _I've been travelin' too long_

 _I've been trying too hard_

 _With one pretty song_

Her head swung back momentarily as she brushed her hair out of her eyes. She belted out the chorus in a newfound falsetto.

 _I hear the birds on the summer breeze,_

 _I drive fast, I am alone in the night_

 _Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble,_

 _but I, I've got a war in my mind_

 _So, I just ride, just ride,_

 _I just ride, just ride_

Every eye in the room was now fixated on the chanteuse as she strengthened herself after nearly falling over from the weight of all that was happening.

 _I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy_

 _I'm tired of driving 'til I see stars in my eyes_

 _It's all I've got to keep myself sane, baby_

 _So I just ride, I just ride_

After effortlessly making her way through the final chorus, the crowd erupted into a thunderous applause, which was quite impressive for about thirty people.

"Thank you, thank you all so much. My name is Lana Del Rey, and I'm your singer this evening." She announced to those unaware as she took a swig of water from a bottle situated just below her microphone. "For this number, I'll be needing a bit of assistance."

This was Mark's cue to come to the stage. He swaggered over to the piano located in the back with an energy usually reserved for those far younger than he.

He began with the opening piano chords to the track, and Lana twirled around, waiting for her cue. When she did, all eyes were back on her.

 _He used to call me DN_

 _That stood for deadly nightshade_

 _Cause I was filled with poison_

 _But blessed with beauty and rage_

Her voice was much lower now, and the instrumentation far more acoustic. Instead of the pre-recorded orchestral accompaniment, there was just Lana's voice and the piano.

 _Jim told me that_

 _He hit me and it felt like a kiss_

 _Jim brought me back_

 _Reminded me of when we were kids_

At this point, the backing track kicked in, and so did a part of Lana's soul she long thought no longer existed. The memories came flooding back. She may have been on the Enterprise, but her mind and her soul had their feet firmly planted in Brooklyn.

 _This is ultraviolence_

 _Ultraviolence_

 _Ultraviolence_

 _Ultraviolence_

 _I can hear sirens, sirens_

 _He hit me and it felt like a kiss_

 _I can hear violins, violins_

 _Give me all of that ultraviolence_

After a few more minutes, the song concluded, followed by more applause, and Lana abruptly leaving the stage. Mark could see but a single tear streak down her cheek as he approached the microphone and told the audience she would return later in the evening for an encore.

She ran down the hallway and into the nearest lift she could find.

"Take me to my quarters." She ordered the computer. Again, the compliant beeping sound.

The lift stopped only a deck up, and let in Commander Data, who was holding a tricorder. Lana had tears streaming down her face at this point, and was embarrassed at having been caught like this. Data was concerned.

"Ma'am, may I enquire as to what is wrong?" He asked in his distinctive way only an android would dare ask in this situation.

"No," She refused the offer, but cleared her eyes and realized who she was talking to.

"Wait, you are the android?"

"Yes, you could say that I am the android. I am Lt. Cmdr. Data. I am not sure that I recognize you however. I assume that you one of the five new passengers that we acquired yesterday."

"Yeah, I am. I'm sorry that you had to see me like that. It's been a really rough week for me...you know, it's really been a rough year, or past five you could say. Now that I think about it I've always been kind of miserable."

"If you do not mind me suggesting this, Counselor Troi's office is open if you would like to speak with her."

"I know... I've had the pleasure of meeting her in Ten Forward." She remarked somewhat sarcastically. So far she was getting along with this artificial person better than most of the real people on the ship.

The doors to the lift opened at Lana's point of destination and she exited, waving half genuinely to the android she left behind.


	2. The Queen of New York City

"So, where do you want me to start?"

"How about we start at the beginning."

Lana would rather be about anywhere else on the ship than where she was at this moment. She was sitting uncomfortably in Counselor Troi's office, staring off at the wall. Her next performance started in less than two hours, and she figured that her time could be much better spent preparing. After what happened earlier, everyone else though differently.

"I don't know if we have the time for that."

"Well then, I'll start by saying this. You are talented. The performance was amazing. I am just a bit concerned for how you are doing mentally."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Listen, I'll be straightforward with you. Are you depressed?"

"I've been told that. I've been told many things by many therapists, but I don't know who to believe anymore. All I've felt for the longest time was loneliness, as if I had been stuck in an endless winter. The men I have met along my journey were my only summer. I guess you can say running around with them, and getting into trouble were my only real happy times."

Deanna listened intently to this sudden release.

"So, you write your own lyrics, correct?"

"Of course, why do you ask?"

"Would you say that they are autobiographical?"

"Absolutely. Everything I write about is from my own life. I guess that's why you can say that it is all about the same goddamn person."

"Mark...?"

"No, there was another. Her was an enigma of a man. He had many women, and I was only one of them, but I always thought I was special. We met in New York, Brooklyn specifically. I'd been working at a less than reliable establishment, singing after hours, entertaining drunken bikers and intellectual hipsters alike. I saw him staring at me from across the room. His eyes were as piercing as they were deep blue. He was covered in tattoos, which you could say is a pretty big turn on for me." She giggled slightly, but in a slightly disingenuous way.

"He picked me up that night and took me to his home in the Upper East Side. This was at a time where I really didn't have a home. I preferred to be in the company of strangers, spending every night in a different man's apartment, eating their food, smoking their weed, living short glimpses of their lives, and disappearing like a phantom into the night. I found it very poetic. I was at last living my dream."

"Wasn't that dangerous?"

"Yeah, it really was. I could have gotten killed countless numbers of times. I didn't care though. I was doing what I always wanted to - making my life a piece of art. With every night spent on the street corner, breathing in the cold December air on the Brooklyn bridge, taking endless drags from a cigarette, I was making my own painting. The paint brush was mine and mine alone. My family had no idea where I was, they had no clue the person I had become. I suppose it was over this period I became depressed."

"Was it because you didn't feel like you had a real home?."

"No, I loved that. It made me happy having no real commitments, just living life one highway at a time. I fell in love with the country America used to be. Long before the federation, long before the third world war, we were something great. I feel very connected to that bygone period of time, when not even my great grandmother was alive. Life was so different back then. Even though we couldn't take to the stars, in our own way we were so much more free. I love freedom, and that's probably why I loved traveling with them so much. I was drunk on the ghosts of the millions stars in the night sky. Taking in the reality of nomadic existence made me high, although the drugs did help."

"Were you an addict?"

Lana took a deep breath. She didn't know if she wanted to go any deeper than this. She had already gone pretty far into her past with a woman she had known for only a day, but she felt deep down that she could trust her. Surely, she had heard worse things from other patients.

"Yeah."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Not really. In fact, I think this session is over."

"Thank you. I don't know if this helped you, but if it did, then you are welcome to come back any time."

"Sure thing, Deanna."

A moment later she left the room without the shadow of a farewell.

* * *

When Lana returned to her quarters she discovered Mark hovering in the middle of the room holding a glass of scotch.

"Why must you drink so early in the day?"

"I need to have a goddamn cigarette, Lizzy, I'm going crazy in here."

"I heard these Galaxy class ships come with a Holodeck. I even heard they can't detect what exactly is real or holographic in there. All we have to do is go to a program with some hippies in it and I'm sure we can get away with even getting high in there."

"I don't know if we can risk getting kicked off of another one of these damn things."

Lana was now sitting down in the bathroom, fixing her hair and humming "Black Beauty" to herself.

"So, you talked with that empath counselor?"

"So that's what was different about her, she's a Betazed?"

"and...?"

"and what? I'm not going to tell you what happened in there. You seriously think I have that little self respect? What has been wrong with you, Mark?"

"Being on this starship really has gotten to you, Lizzy."

"Stop calling me that. That name means nothing to me now." Her voice was increasing in intensity. There was definite anger behind her sweet exterior.

"I'm sorry, Lana."

She was silent. He took another drink from his glass, and through it upon the ground, where it shattered like the trust that the two used to share.

* * *

The sound of applause from the audience was soothing to Lana's ears, and at the same time relieving. She had just finished singing another three song set for the growing crowd of people in Ten Forward. News of her performances had spread throughout the ship, and now the lounge was filled almost to capacity with patrons clamoring to hear her perform "Blue Jeans" and "West Coast". Of the 1,014 people on the ship, Mark estimated that about half of them had seen Lana sing by the end of their first week. The show was a hit, to say the least. She stepped down for the microphone with a hurried thank you, and retreated into Guinan's back room, where she stored her rarer forms of alcohol.

"You okay, Lana?" asked the bartender, holding the door ajar slightly.

The songstress nodded and gave a halfhearted smile, although she still looked dejected.

Guinan left to take another order as the majority of the patrons left following Lana's departure. Mark traipsed over to the bar, beckoning to Lana. She reluctantly left her hiding place and stepped into the light.

"Are you doing okay?" He asked, although he didn't sound concerned in the slightest.

"Yeah, I've done better, though."

"Alright, then."

"What are you doing?" She asked as she saw him take a cigarette from his jacket pocket and slip it in between his lips.

"I don't have a lighter. What am I going to do with it? Nothing. It's a metaphor."

"That has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard."

"Did I ask for your opinion, woman?" He snapped, although he barely raised his voice.

Lana didn't know if she wanted to cry or slap him across the face.

She chose the latter.

* * *

And so, there was another trip to counselor Troi's office. She would much rather discuss Mark with Guinan, but she had no choice in the matter.

"What was it that you were feeling that made you have this...outburst?"

"I knew you wouldn't understand. They never do."

"Excuse me?"

"God, you can be so ignorant. I know he doesn't value me. He sees me as nothing more than an object. I am his and his alone. I am his possession."

"You don't want it to be this way, correct?"

"Why would you even ask me that?" Lana looked disgusted by Troi's question.

"Well, the lyrics to some of your songs suggest that you might be...romanticizing this feeling of being owned, dominated by a man."

"I don't have to sit here and take this from you."

"Alright then, leave, go back to him."

Lana remained still on her couch, stunned by this remark.

"That's what I thought." Troi became slightly smug at this, but still retained an air of sincerity. "Now, please try to understand that I am only trying to help you."

"I love him. I really do. It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm not 20 anymore. I'm a pretty submissive person. I feel like I let him down. I only want to make him proud, Deanna, that's all I want." The tinge of sadness in her voice increased in intensity until it warbled and shook with melancholia.

She wrote something down on her notebook and took another moment to reflect.

"What it seems like is happening here is a codependent relationship."

"No, that's not it. I've been told this before, but I never trusted any of them. Why should I trust you. You don't know anything about me."

"Well, I do know what you have told me, and I have used that and what I have seen of you two interacting to form this theory of what I think is happening between you. I am just trying to help."

Lana shakily got up from the couch and headed towards the exit of the office.

"I'm sorry, counselor, but I don't think I'll be coming back here."

And again, she had departed.

* * *

When she returned to her room she was greeted with something far more sinister than she had hoped. The lights were dimmed as she entered the room. She could not see Mark, and she reached around aimlessly for the light control panel. When she adjusted the settings, she felt a searing pain roar across her face. Her jaw felt like it had been struck with a bat, and to her horror, she saw that it was the hand of her lover, who stood over her as she collapsed onto the floor. Tears were rushing down her face and she wailed.

 _What did I do?! What did I ever do to you?!_

He picked up the woman by her shoulders and threw her onto the bed. Mark leaned over her profusely shaking body and whispered into her ear.

"I will make you sorry. I will make you pay, and I will make you love me."

More screams came from the room that night, but no one seemed to notice..

* * *

The next morning, Lana woke up before her attacker, with the scent of alcohol still permeating the air. She got up from the bed slowly, as to not awaking the monster lying next to her. Her head pounded and she could still feel the blood drip stain her lower lip. She wiped it off as she left the room without putting on anything else but her red sun dress. She decided to make her way to Ten Forward. It must have been much earlier than she anticipated, as she saw no one on the whole trip to the longue at the front of the starship. She figured she could talk to Guinan about what happened. Perhaps not the specifics, but she needed a release that wasn't from someone like Troi.

When she approached the giant wood plated doors that guarded the lounge, they did not open for her. The lights were turned off inside and she noticed that there was a small sign saying CLOSED. This hadn't occurred to her, so she waited outside, collapsing down into a sitting position, and waiting for someone to come and unlock it.

As it happens, the doors automatically unlocked at eight in the morning. She walked into the lounge and sat at the empty bar. She wept gently for a few minutes before Guinan entered. The older woman approached her cautiously and put her hand over the chanteuse's shoulder. She heard her crying very quietly.

"Honey, you wanna come with me?"

"Where?"

"Wherever you want to go."

"I want more than anything to go the one place I can't. I want to go home."

"Well, I have a better idea."

Lana got up off the floor, brushed herself off, and followed Guinan as she walked away towards their then unknown destination.  
"Won't you need someone to watch the bar?"

"Oh, it'll be fine. Don't worry about it."

Another few moments existed in pure silence.

"Where are we going? " Lana gathered the courage to ask.

"Like I said - we can go wherever you want to."

After a turbo lift ride and more silence the duo arrived a couple of floors below, at the entrance to a room Lana read as "Holodeck 1"

"So, it really is true that they have one of these on board."

"Yes, it's a great place to come and live out whatever fantasies you want. However, I mostly use it to simulate a worthy opponent for my fencing matches, whenever the Captain isn't around."

"You know the captain personally?"

"Yes, our relationship is something much deeper than that - deeper than friendship, deeper than family." Lana's intrigue at this comment was quickly replaced by her indecisiveness of where they should go on the holodeck. After a few moments the answer became clear.

"Computer. Can you make a simulation of Brooklyn, New York City, present day."

Following the customary beeping sound and a five second wait, the program was finished. The doors opened automatically, revealing a glimpse into the program.

"I haven't been home in five years…"

"Well, then what are you waiting for.

Lana took a step through the passageway, and Guinan followed shortly after. The adjustment in light as the artificially created sun beat down upon them was striking. They found respite in the shade of a tree, as they found themselves in the middle of a park not distant from the Brooklyn Bridge. After wandering around for a few minutes, taking in the sights and sounds, they settled down on a bench across from a pizzeria.

"So, you ever been to New York before, Guinan?"

"Yeah, I have. It was quite a while ago, a few centuries, actually. I was more of the west coast type myself, whenever I found myself on this continent. I lived in San Francisco for most of my time here."

"I was born and raised here." Lana smiled. "Upstate, to be more exact, but when I moved out of my parents place, I tried to make it out here on my own. I grew to love this city as if I had lived here my entire life…but it always had me wanting more. I had always wanted to live here during its glory days, before the war and everything."

"It was truly a sight to be seen. I watched many of these buildings come and go. So many people occupying such a small place on the planet. Before it was so damaged, dying and on the brink of collapse. The Eugenics Wars were not kind to New York. I hardly recognized it when I came back a number of decades later. Luckily, it still retains the resilience of its inhabitants. I'm not surprised you come from such a place, Lana."

"It must have been incredible. I don't have thousands of years to do that like you, though. Oh, how I wish I could." A tinge of sadness was returning to her voice.

"Alright, I need to be getting back to the bar. You can stay here for as long as you need."

"Thanks, but I should be back for the show tonight."

"Are you sure you will be okay enough to go on?"

"Yes, this is just what I needed. Thank you, Guinan."  
"It's my pleasure, it really is."

Elizabeth gave a final smile as the older woman commanded "bridge" and an exit appeared in front of her. She turned her head towards the East River, and watched as a ferry rode past. She could almost see the faces of the tourists on their way to visit the Statue of Liberty Memorial Museum. She wondered what it would have been like to see the Statue back when it was at its full height, pre-bombings. It then occurred to her that on the holodeck, she could do just that.

"Computer, can you adjust the year to be sometime in the Nineteen Sixties?"

The usual compliant beeping noise followed by a slight change of scenery. Trees shifted places, buildings shrunk down to half their size, the flying vehicles became grounded, and peoples fashion was noticeably different. She took this opportunity to go the drug store she had been eyeing for the last few minutes. She walked in and purchased a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

 _It's only a hologram, it can't hurt to try._

She lit one as she looked out across the bay and witnessed two soaring towers go up under construction. Giant cranes were lifting up massive steel pieces fifty stories into the air. Lana though nothing of this at first, but was soon joined in her curiosity by one of the hologram characters.

He was a man in his thirties in a suit. He appeared to be on a lunch break and was also lighting up a cigarette. He seemed to have an interest in Lana and stood right beside her.

"See that, those are the new Trade Center Towers they are building'. They say they are going to be even taller than the Empire State. It's blasphemous if you ask me. It's like disrespecting the king! And look at them, they are just going to be giant boxes! They could at least try and make them a bit prettier."

Lana ignored the man and took another drag and continued staring.

"I think they are going to be beautiful."

It was at this moment that lyrics started to form in Lana's mind. She had visions of opulence and old money. She had the instinct to grab a pen and paper. She rushed over to the bench and ordered the computer to give her those materials. After a few minutes of writing and tweaking, she looked down at her paper.

 _Blue hydrangea, cold cash divine,_

 _Cashmere, cologne and white sunshine._

 _Red racing cars, sunset and vine,_

 _The kids were young and pretty._

 _Where have you been? Where did you go?_

 _Those summer nights seem long ago,_

 _And so is the girl you used to call,_

 _The Queen of New York City_


	3. Fragility of Fate

Cecil sighed as he maneuvered his way around his cluttered living quarters. He had always been nagging at his boyfriend Carlos to pick up his things since they packed over a week ago, yet he was still tripping over one thing or another.

"Carlos, are you alright in there?"

The taller, darker, and more muscularly defined man was splashing water onto his face in the adjacent bathroom. Cecil noted that there was a glass of synthehol beside him and a plan formulated.

"I know you've been really busy with your research, but do you think tonight we could go out and do something?" The radio host's voice was perking with enthusiasm.

"Sure. I've been thinking of inviting one of my colleagues from astrometrics to go see that singer in the lounge they got down there."

"Oh, who is this mystery person I have yet to hear of?"

"Her name is Rebecca and she's phenomenal. She's intelligent, alright, and she certainly has more common sense than most of the stellar cartography department. However, he social skills do need some honing."

"Well, this seems like the perfect way to do that!"

"Yeah, and that singer has been getting rave reviews all over the ship."

"I didn't know we had that many music critics on this ship of only a thousand."

"You'd be surprised how many of my colleagues are so confident in their opinions.

"Well, they are scientists after all. Anyways, what time does it start?"

"In about an hour."

"Good, that still leaves time for you to clean up all the mess around here." He smiled as he picked up the half full glass and whisked it away in his usual dramatic fashion. His hips swayed as he disposed of it, and left the quarters to replicate something to wear out.

* * *

Lana marched unevenly through the corridor of the ship leading away from the holodeck. After exiting her program, her garb returned to the material she had donned before entering. She had her notebook in hand, where she had penned some lyrics in the program. She found it therapeutic to write during difficult times, but now she felt as if she had nowhere to go. Guinan had gone back to man the bar, and she figured that Mark would still be in her quarters. She walked over to the side of the hallway, where there was a computer terminal.

"Computer, what time is my performance scheduled for in Ten Forward?

"Your performance is in approximately fifty minutes."

"Damn it. I spent more time in there than I thought."

Cursing under her breath, she rushed off to the nearest turbo lift just as it was closing, and directed it to take her to her quarters. By the time she did this she was nearly out of breath and didn't notice that someone else was already occupying the space. To her dismay, she saw the slim figure of Deanna Troi. She tried her best to ignore her, but they would be there for at least thirty seconds, enough time for it to get awkward. Before long, the counselor spoke up.

"Lana, I want to apologize for yesterday."

"I don't want to talk, counselor." Lana responded, not bothering to look in her direction.

"I just thought that if we talk it out-"

"I told you I wouldn't be coming back to see you and I meant it." Her voice verged on eruption.

"Listen - I want us to be friends. I really do. However, if that's something you don't want, that's fine. I'm not saying this as a counselor, I'm saying this as a person. If you don't like me, I'll live with it, and I won't bother you again."

"Okay. I'm glad you understand." Lana said, finally meeting her gaze.

Despite her calm exterior, Deanna was hurt by this. She wasn't used to getting such a cold response from someone she had genuine faith in. The lift came to a stop, and Deanna walked off to her office, leaving Lana alone with her thoughts. After descending a few more decks and arriving at her destination. It came to her attention that she was still barefoot, and as she looked briefly she ran into the figure of a rather careless pedestrian. The next thing she knew, she had fallen down onto the blue and beige carpet below them.

"Oh, I'm so terribly sorry." Cecil outstretched his hand in empathy.

"It's okay. I'm alright." Lana responded, accepting his help.

"You're not hurt or anything, are you?"

"No, I'm fine." Lana looked into the man's eyes and saw that they were a light shade of blue. She noticed that his voice was like that of someone in the recording industry - strong and powerful, able to be projected easily, yet still soothing and comforting.

"Well, I've got to be going. I have a show to perform in a little while." Lana said as she began an almost sprint to her quarters. She was undoubtedly attracted to this man, his relaxing voice and the long, blond hair that framed his face.

As she arrived at her room, she opened the door, unafraid of what would be inside. Surprisingly, she found it empty and spotless, as if no one had been there in a very long time. Thankfully, Mark was nowhere to be seen, she thought to herself, but that wasn't enough to stop her from combing the entire dwelling for any sign of her neglectful lover.

After a quick sonic shower, change of attire, and applying of makeup, she drew a heavy sigh, for she did not know if tonight would be her last performance or not. She was sure that she would not put up with Mark anymore, but was there any place to go on this ship to get away from him? To prevent them meeting before the start of her set, she arrived mere moments before she was slated to go on.

"Lana, you're on right now." Guinan whispered from behind the bar as she stepped into the establishment.

Lana decided that now was her make or break moment. It was now that she knew for sure that she wouldn't be sticking to the set list tonight. She searched the crowd for Mark as she adjusted her microphone, and when she found him near the back of the room, she shot a look at him that pierced the air dividing them. She also saw that the man she had run into in the hallway was in the front row, sitting beside a darker haired man. The songstress took a deep breath before she began the first song.

My p**** taste like Pepsi-Cola

An audible gasp came from the audience

My eyes are wide like cherry pies

I gots a taste for men who're older

It's always been, so it's no surprise

She raised her hands up above her head, revealing her tattoos below each of her respective pinky fingers. The first read "paradise" and the other "trust no one".

Ah, he's in the sky with diamonds and he's making me crazy

All he wants to do is party with his pretty baby

She pushed her hair out of her eyes and continued on with her set, independent of what anyone else had told her what to do.

"Now, this song is about someone who doubted me, looked down on me when I was coming up, and proceeded to steal my whole aesthetic and get pretty popular with it. I've got one message for you. This is my show now, bitch."

* * *

"So, Lana. I've heard quite a lot of words going around the ship regarding your show last night."

"So, what does that matter?"

Lana drew a heavy sigh as she stared down at her half eaten Andorian omelet. She had decided to stay at Guinan's place until she could be reassigned to another quarters. After what Mark had put her through, she had had enough. In fact, while she wasn't exactly avoiding him, she hadn't seen him since the concert.

"I suppose it really doesn't matter. Not too many children were in attendance to begin with."

"That was always something that struck me about this ship. There are children - entire families living here on the Enterprise. I mean, don't you find that a little unusual? It's capable of destroying civilizations, ending the lives of anyone that dared to threaten it."

"This isn't a ship of war, Lana. It's a ship of peace."

"Oh, I know. Ships of peace often carry massive amounts of firepower, don't they?"

Guinan fell silent. It wasn't that long ago that she had similar feelings, although back then, the timeline was distorted in a way that the Enterprise was a war ship. This mention brought back those unwelcome memories of times that could have been, an alternate way of life that she dreaded to imagine.

"Lana, you need to make a decision." Her tone carried on in its seriousness.

'You're going to have to be a little more specific."

"You know what I am talking about. Both of us know you can't stay with him."

"And why not? It's not nearly the worst thing someone has done to me." Her voice became less calm in this moment, instead reverting to a fragile and thinner state. "I've been wronged many times in my life, Guinan, you have no idea. And the worst thing is that I know that I did everything possible to deserve it. I don't deserve to be happy. I chose my own lot in life and I am going to have to stick with it."

"No, that isn't true -"

"Yes, it is. I don't know why, but I haven't been happy in a long time. I just came to the realization that it doesn't matter to me anymore. All I want is for my life to be a work of art. No one ever said that art needed to be joyful, it just needs to have meaning…and if that meaning is for me to be miserable, then why not? Why must I conform to what everyone else says I must do? I control my own fate, and if this is my choice, then why not let me be?"

Guinan sat there for a moment, taking in what Lana had said to her.

"I've been around a long time, and very rarely have I come across someone like you. That's a good thing. I just want you to keep being you, because you are unique…and you are beautiful."

A singular tear began to form in Lana's eye, and before Guinan could finish it streamed down her cheek.

"Beauty can be such a fragile thing, fleeting and wandering the universe in search of someone to complete it. So, I'll just tell you this, Miss Grant, keep going."

"I will."

"You promise me that you won't give up somewhere down the line?"

"I promise. I was born to be the other woman." She gave a pathetic laugh as she wiped away her tears, "I'm used to the way things work out. It's always been this way with me. I'm just a damn fool when it comes to life sometimes."

* * *

"Come in." Captain Picard sipped his piping hot earl grey tea as he welcomed in his first officer.

"Captain, I have the roster changes you requested." Will reported as he handed him over the PADD on which he had compiled the new schedule and personnel changes since their departing Starbase.

"Will that be all, number one?"

"Well, there is another thing. You should come to ten forward tonight and check out the entertainment. There's this singer who I think you would really enjoy."

"Will, you do know I am more of a classical man myself. Besides, I will be far too busy for any leisure tonight. Although, if I do find the time I might practice my flute playing."

"Alright, Captain, but you should really keep your options open."

"I'll consider it, number one."

And with that, Will Riker departed his superior officer's ready room, and stepped out onto the bridge of the starship, where third in command Data was manning his post, as was Commander Worf at Tactical.

"Commander Data, you have the bridge."

"Aye sir."

* * *

"You know what, Barbara, I think today's session was really productive."

"Thanks, Deanna, I am so thankful for everything."

"Don't mention it. It's my pleasure."

Barbara exited Counselor Troi's office after a rather constructive counseling session, and was pleased to see Commander Riker behind the door, about to request entrance.

"Good morning, Ensign Marone."

"Good morning, Commander."

"Will, come on in. Is there something you want to talk about?"

"Yeah, there is." He said calmly, leaving the entrance way and strolling into her counseling area, which very much doubled as an entertainment room for guests need there be an occasion like so.

"I need to know about Elizabeth Wooldridge Grant."

"Oh really?" Troi shot a look of almost excitement as she got up from her armchair and ran over to her replicator to order a bowl of chocolate ice cream. "I would think that you of all people would know about her."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that you were the one who slept with her on Risa. I would venture so far as to say that you are the reason she is here, and the reason she doesn't take such a liking to me."

"I did not have relations with that woman and you know it." There was anger in Will's voice now. He had been backed into a corner.

"Is this because we were supposed to be getting back together at the time? You know that I knew about what you do on that pleasure resort of a planet!" The computer replicated her ice cream, and the nerves in the room shot down dramatically as she spooned the already melting dessert around and around the edge of the petite glass bowl.

"I at least regret what I did there. That doesn't mean I know everything there is to know about her. I hardly got to know her."

"Not surprising."

"You know what I mean. It was just a quick little…encounter. How did you even find out about it?"

"My lips are sealed." She smiled, placing another delicate spoonful onto her tongue.

"It was Guinan, wasn't it?"

Deanna shrugged her shoulders.

"Damn it, well I guess it doesn't matter now who told you. I just need to find out about her."

"Well, I can tell you this. She's moody, depressed, and certainly doesn't think very highly of me."

"I thought you were used to other women getting a little catty with you?"

"Oh, shut up." She joked. "It's just that I am not that used to having people in general dislike me. I mean, I am a counselor with empathic abilities, who is more likable than that?"

It took Will Riker most of his self control to stop him from rolling his eyes.

"Well, did she give you a reason for her not liking you?"

"She became…hostile during our counseling session. Not at first, but after a while of prodding around. She did divulge quite a bit of information about herself though."

"Anything you would be willing to tell me?"

"Are you seriously doing this right now?"

"What do you mean am I serious?"

"You know exactly what I mean. I am supposed to keep everything we discuss as confidential as possible. Just because she doesn't get along with me doesn't give me license to go broadcasting her personal secrets to the world."

"I would hardly call telling one person broadcasting it to the world."

"If you are so curious, why don't you go have a talk with her yourself?"

Will appeared a bit taken back by this simple suggestion.

"I'm not so sure. If she reacted badly to you, I'd be a bit scared myself. What if she had other motives for coming here?"

"Of course she has other motives. She's a singer, she performs. If she managed to follow you half way across the quadrant, you have to mean something to her."

"One drunken encounter on a distant world doesn't mean anything to me. I don't know why it would to her."

"Will, she's been hurt a lot." Her voice became more grave. "She's been broken a long time and she needs fixing. I don't think she's strong enough to go through what she's going through on her own. Mark…get's a bit too physical with her sometimes. A lot of her partners have, but now she says she has had enough."

Troi put down the half empty bowl and continued.

"She doesn't want someone who is tied down by a job like a starfleet officer. That isn't the kind of man she is looking for. She wants a free spirit." She almost cringed saying those last two words. They reminded her too much of her mother.

"I'm not looking for a relationship with her. Especially since it seems she already has someone right now."

"I wasn't suggesting you were. But, you know, there's an old saying on Betazed that goes something like _desire is both fickle and awe-inspiring._ I think my mother takes that one especially too far, though."

"That she does."

"Speaking of which, I spoke to her the other day."

"What of?"

"Oh, she's considering visiting."

A collective groan was felt not audibly, but internally.

"Tell me it isn't so."

"Unfortunately, it is. I tried every trick in the book to get her to stay as far away as possible from this ship and the people on it. She's just so damn insistent. I can hardly get a word in on our calls."

"I can already hear her trying to get in bed with our new arrivals."

"Well, luckily they are all either gay or taken this time."

"Like that's going to stop her!"

They enjoyed a brief laugh on this before Will announced his intentions to leave, and once he did, Deanna was left alone again, pondering the shades of beige that were the staple of the ships décor.


End file.
